Break-up letter to Tinky Winky

Dear Tinky Winky,
I’m breaking up with you. I am living in a state of denial. I have been sleeping with Dipsy, Laa-Laa, and Po, also Hoover, swallowing my Tubby custard. I’m sorry that it is ending between us. You will recover, leave Tubby custard in the other hovel.
You are a wonderful Teletubby, but not the Teletubby I need. I need three qualities: Dipsy, Laa-Laa, and bondage.
When you leave Tubby Ville, I will tell everyone that you are free, moving on to other shows like Robot Wars. Please don’t hate me. Please don’t think I ruined your life.
Yours sincerely,
Baby Sun
(age: 25)

Dear Baby Sun,
I hate you!!
I am giving blood to all the children, who have my best interests at heart. What do you think about that?! Friday, I went to the large centre for children, wherein I took their whole bodies into my purple circular arms, and cradled them like little acorns. That is what it has done to me.
If you think that you can just get out of my life, then you need to reassess your mental capacityyy.
Fine, leave!
Fine, go!
Dipsy will fuck real better than you! However, that is irrelevant, because I fuck all the robot characters, like Brum and Iron Man.
Yours sincerely, Tinky Winky