Ballet on the Battlefield

[Luke] Ballet dancing is a very noble tradition.
[Tom] Y- yes. Yes Madame
[Luke] A hundred years of history.
[Tom] More if anything.

- Tom and Luke | Watch now

[AJ] May I talk with you in privyet? May I talk with you in privyet?
[Luke] Are you want to travel to Privyet? It's a very long way from Russia!
[AJ] No, no. I wanted to talk to you- I want to talk to you in privyet.
[Luke] Ah! Excuse his accent. He means private.

- AJ and Luke | Watch now

Win this war for us. And then maybe we have another Swedish massage.

- AJ | Watch now

[AJ] But I think in your beauty, in your old age you become like fine wine. Like fine vodka. That's the- the vodka is- you know, it gets stronger with time.
[Luke] Yes.
[AJ] Right?
[Luke] Yes.
[AJ] Does it?
[Luke] Yes.
[AJ] More dangerous than ever. And more beautiful.

- AJ and Luke | Watch now

[Luke] I, Janusz, am just a humble- humble janitor's son. I will never train the ballet, and be rich and famous like you.
[Tom] Janusz, I know you're a humble genital son, but-
[Luke] Janitor!
[Tom] I'm so sorry. I keep getting it wrong, Janusz.

- Luke and AJ | Watch now

Mummy and Daddy, when I was just little little they used to say to me "Clean!" And I used to say "I love you!" And then they would leave the room.

- Tom | Watch now

[Tom] Anyway. Just because your deyad and your deyad's deyad-
[Luke] No, no. My deyad is alive.
[Tom] Oh, your deyad is alive?
[Luke] Yes, he's not dyead .
[Tom] Not dyead?
[Luke] No my deyad is not dyead. He's my deyad.
[Tom] So he is still a genital?
[paus]
[Luke] Yes.

- Tom and Luke | Watch now

My father says a laugh is the soul trying to escape your body. So you have to force it back in!

- Luke | Watch now

We talked about the war a little bit. And then we were like "just let us park that for a second."

- AJ | Watch now

[Luke] You know he's my second cousin, ja?
[AJ] Ja, that's right, 'cause of course back then they were- everyone was connected. Like, in weird ways.
[Luke] Back then?
[AJ] Back then.
[Luke] Back then? Don't you mean now?
[AJ] Like in the old-old days. You know, so long ago.
[Luke] So I mean now. He is my cousin right now. In 1916.
[AJ] Whaaaaat?

- Luke and AJ | Watch now

[AJ] Tell us the specific social political conditions that gave rise to the first World War.
[Luke] What do you mean the FIRST World War?
[long paus]
[AJ] Honestly, my brain just exploded.

- AJ and Luke | Watch now

[Luke] How is the war going anyway?
[AJ] Uh, we're losing, but it's fine

- Luke and AJ | Watch now

[AJ] Honestly, they're getting some crazy bitches to- That's not really- You know, uh, it's- you know the word 'bitch' - It's a- It's a German word for -
[Luke] It's a German word for six-year-old.
[AJ] Ja! We can get all these little bitches to line up to the beaches of Stuttgart. They're all going to do the incredi- Ah! AH! I can't wait for the bitches.
[Luke] I feel like we should use formal German from now on.

- AJ and Luke | Watch now

[AJ] Dance like you've never danced before.
[Tom] But if I dance like I've never danced before that would be really bad dancing.
[AJ] Dance like you've been practising repeatedly. Alright?

- AJ and Tom | Watch now

My footwork is amazing. Everything I'm doing below the waist is a pure symphody- symphdon- ah, fuck it! - A symphony of light!

- Tom | Watch now

[Tom] I'm leaving, Janusz. I'm going to be free. I'm going to have my own little apartment. Maybe I'll dance...? Maybe I'll clean.
[Luke] Maybe you'll tell jokes.

- Tom and Luke | Watch now

Look, it's a little bird. A little bird, free to go wherever it wishes. We'll fly like you, little bird. So, it's Russia in 1916. Only good days ahead.

- Tom | Watch now

Wait for me! Ah fuck, it's harder than it looks!

- Luke | Watch now

Andrei, spirit, vodka, Russian, 1916, Tsar Nicholas of Russia, president, Germany, Kaiser Wilhelm, Royal Ballet of Moscow, AJ slap Tom, corpsing (AJ), stagecraft, breaking (Luke Tom), singing (AJ), dancing (Tom), death (Luke), death (AJ), Tom slap Luke