Beetroots & Murder
Released on YouTube 2023-12-26
Part of the full length show HUGE at Theatre Royal Stratford East.
Quotes
Remember, you wouldn't steal a bike. You wouldn't pirate a VHS. So don't kill someone over some beetroots!
- Tom | Watch now
Yeah, big dick- that's not an insult. Little dick!
Big dick!
Don't call him big dick.
You've got a big dick.
No! Stop it!
- Tom and AJ | Watch now
I'm saying there's more to life than beetroots. The prison warden was right. I'm not gonna become a murderer over a... shit vegetable.
- Sam | Watch now
Well then I guess I win, don't I? I win! I've got everything I ever wanted, I'm a winner!
You don't have any parents.
Oh, no! Oh, no, my- my greatest fear! A sick burn!
- Tom and Sam | Watch now
Cast
Luke as Officer Jenkins
Tom as Spirit of Somerset (sometimes Spirit of Ireland)
AJ as spirit friend
AJ as Marvin (dad, police officer)
Luke as Jermima (mom)
Tom as Justin Willoughby (bully, aka Justin Trouble)
AJ as bully friend (keeps bees sometimes)
Luke as gasoline salesman
Tom as matchstick salesman
AJ as André Beetroot (master of ceremonies at Somerset's beetroot competition 1950)
Luke as beetroot fangirl
Keywords
Somerset, singing, ghost, Flashback, Irish, kissing, competition, fire, cctv