Priscilla's Final Petal
Released on YouTube 2024-02-25
Quotes
[Sam] Do you know the secret of buttercups?
[AJ] No! Could you tell me?
[Sam] If you put one under a chin and you see yellow that means I like butter.
[AJ] That means YOU like butter. So if I put it under my chin-
[Sam] No, MY chin and you see yellow reflected there-
[AJ] So I can find out if other people like butter if I put it under MY chin.
[Sam] No no, you put it under your chin, look in the mirror and you see yellow on your chin there that means YOU like butter.
[AJ] But what if I put it under YOUR chin?
[Sam] If you see yellow that means I like butter.
[AJ] Whoa. It's Magic!
- Sam and AJ | Watch now
[Tom] I want to hear those ivories tinkling is that understood, young lady?
[AJ] The what?
[Tom] Ivories. Tinkling.
[AJ] What does that mean?
[Tom] Well. When you get an elephant and when you kill it really good you can take its tusks and you grind them, shape them down and then that makes a lovely musical instrument we call a piano.
[AJ] If you put the tusks underneath a chin does it tell you if you like butter?
[Tom] Aww... No.
- Tom and AJ | Watch now
[AJ] Can I take this?
[Sam] My pen?
[AJ] No, she put the petal in here.
[Sam] I thought you had in your hand.
[AJ] No, she put it here.
[Sam] Oh, did- I'm sorry, I didn't see that, her stage craft is remarkably weak.
- AJ and Sam | Watch now
[Sam] What- what's wrong? Why is the butler laughing?! What are you laughing at?!
[Tom] Why are you laughing?
[Luke] I- I'm sorry-
[Tom] You're laughing at our hard time- we're still paying you, aren't we?
[Sam] Yeah, I'm still keeping you in-
[Tom] We don't need you, what are you even butling?
[Sam] What is a butler?
[Tom] It's a family of three-
[Sam] FUCK OFF! GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY HOUSE!
[Tom] Get the fuck out! You're ancillary!
- Sam, Tom and Luke | Watch now
Darling, when we first got married you loved the garden, we used to go through strolls...
We did used to go through strolls, but- I can't go through any more of them!
You didn't let me finish my sentence.
Oh, please, grammatically continue.
We used to go through strolls through the orchard.
I'm pretty sure- what- is that not correct?
Sorry, I'm- I'm just-
Can you, like- no! No, no, 'cause you got two English degrees
I'm sorry-
Is that grammatically incorrect?? We went- we used to go through strolls through the orchard?!
N- It is both incorrect and I'm busy on my stagecraft right now.
- Sam and Tom | Watch now
It reminds me because we buried your first wife under the flower beds. And that's why I don't like being out near the flowers, okay? That should be quite obvious. The fact we're having to discuss it at all is inane and foolish.
- Tom | Watch now
[Tom] A girl like me doesn't climb the ranks through kindness and petticoats! It's either violence or selling your body.
[Sam] Darling, I promise you it won't come to that. No more violence.
- Tom and Sam | Watch now
I lit this cigarette on a candle. What wonderful stagecraft.
- Tom | Watch now
Buttercup, I'm a little bit scared. But I'll use you to shine a light so I can see.
- AJ | Watch now
Oh, sorry, I can't see! I don't have my buttercup with me.
- Luke | Watch now
[Sam] Priscilla! You've lost another petal from your buttercup. You've only got three left.
[AJ] No, I've got one left. There was four and I've- t- that's- so-
[Sam] You've- you've only taken two off.
[Sam obsessing over timeline consistency]
- Sam and AJ | Watch now
[AJ] Priscilla only has one-
[Sam] Why are you speaking in third person?
- AJ and Sam | Watch now
I'm part of the Yorkshire Reserves. The most deadly fighting force in the British Isles. Everyone thinks we're all nice and friendly so they don't see it come when you say 'would you like a nice cup of tea'? And then you stab 'em.
- Sam | Watch now
[AJ] When I went over to that buttercup... nest.
[Sam] That is the correct terminology, yes.
- AJ and Sam | Watch now
They plotted together to kill your mum and they got me to do it 'cause of my assassination history and I buried her under the buttercups. But luckily I'm also a wizard.
- Sam | Watch now
[Sam] She was cruel, she was cold, and her stage craft was terrible.
[Tom] I will accept two of those three criticisms...
[Sam] She once tried to come in through a door and she opened it like this and then she went out the door and opened it from completely the other side.
- Sam and Tom | Watch now
You... You! -soiled me... [brief pause] ...by which I mean you put me in the soil.
- Tom | Watch now
Cast
AJ as Priscilla (also called Helga sometimes)
Tom as Mrs. Langbrook (stepmom, at bit weird but actually kinda nice)
Luke as Helga Vondebüren (piano teacher, sometimes called Miss Vondembürem)
Sam as Mr. Langbrook (earl of Saxony)
Luke as butler (fired for laughing)
Luke as Hans (guardsman for the earl of Saxony)
Tom as Annabelle (first lady of Saxony, also a very creepy zombie)
Tom as Helga (the other Helga, flute teacher)
Keywords
stagecraft, jingle bells, pipe, boarding school, breaking (Sam and Tom), corpsing (Sam, AJ), audience, song (AJ, Tom), death (Luke, Sam, Tom), slowmotion
Synopsis by AI
The play is a surreal and dark comedy centered around a young girl, Priscilla, who is caught in the middle of strange events involving her family, their servants, and magical buttercups. Priscilla interacts with a whimsical groundskeeper, Rumpled, who shares strange lore about buttercups, and hints at his dark past as both an assassin and a wizard. Meanwhile, Priscilla's parents are struggling with financial hardship and hiding secrets about her true heritage, particularly regarding her biological mother, Annabelle, who was murdered and buried in the garden.The story takes a turn when Priscilla learns about her real mother, Annabelle, from Rumpled. Annabelle was cruel and unloving, and her murder was covered up by Priscilla's father and his new wife. A curse tied to a buttercup connects Priscilla to her deceased mother, who tries to come back to life through her daughter. The play builds tension between the real and supernatural, mixing humor with eerie moments, as Annabelle’s vengeful spirit seeks to reclaim Priscilla. The narrative blurs the lines between life, death, and family, framed within absurd and magical elements, ultimately leading to a dramatic and unsettling climax.