Keith the delivery guy
Released on YouTube 2024-09-24
Part of the full length show Ed Fringe 2024 - 3rd August 2024 - Show 1 (14.55) at Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
Quotes
I wrote a love letter to flowers.
Oh did you now? Do you want to read that out one word at a time?
No no no it would bore you darling.
- Sam and Tom
Oh, your father's quite exploded all over my face. And not in the good way!
- Sam
You seem awful confident.
Me? Oh uh well yeah you know I- I'm just- I'm just a badass. I'm a badass.
What's a bad ass? Is it a problematic donkey?
No!
You got IBS?
No it's just
an expression I picked up from some of the Americans on the way to the front line. Badass it means like you're a you know you're a motherfucker.
Stop the jeep, we got a pervert onboard!
No no no this is another expression the Americans use.
Start the jeep again.
It means you're bad.
Oh well, that's not good? We are the good guys?
What no, we are the good guys! But we're bad.
Why are we bad?
It's an expression. *sigh*
- Sam, AJ and Tom
I just popped outside to see if things had improved
Yeah?
They have not!
- Tom and Sam
When the moment arrives, that's when you got to be a hero.
This is that moment. As long as we get that ammo, otherwise we're fucked.
Otherwise this is just kind of pointless, you know? We've just been sort of sent over here by the ruling classes to fight in their name and to be honest really it wasn't worth it for us. But you know, that's the nature of war, innit?
- Tom and Sam
You're alright mate, you're alright! You're a bad ass fucker!
Yeah, your mother is... bad!
- Tom and AJ
(Luke as a german soldier) What happen there, you had the prisoner in front of you?
(Luke as Keith pretending to be a german soldier) Yeah yeah, I did I sent him back there with a message...
(AJ as himself) We're here if you want?
(Tom as himself) No, we shouldn't interrupt the conversation. You two work it out.
(Sam as himself) Please, the stage is yours. We'll just wait.
(Luke continues the scene; Sam, AJ and Tom play pretend ping pong)
- Sam, Tom, Luke and AJ
Cast
Sam as wife (knitting newspapers)
Luke as Keith (the delivery guy Andersson)
AJ as air raid siren (fucking good one too)
AJ as young soldier (newly arrived to war, did receive the letter after all)
Sam as young soldier (age 14, waking up every night screaming in British)
Tom as young soldier (age 12, only one left in his team)
Tom as jeep driver (lives for about 1.5 seconds)
Tom as aircraft captain
Sam as parashooter (soldier and american delivery guy)
AJ as Marcus (parashooter, slightly too eager)
Keywords
reference, World War II, Londing, bombing, breaking character, 4th wall break, corpsing, Jerry, death, patreon