All Eyes on Nigel

We've been doing this sting operation for two weeks.
Did you say "sting operation"?
I did say "sting operation".
Ah, I know what that is.
Good.

- Sam and AJ | Watch now

I think he's trying to summon one of those ring wraiths.

- Tom | Watch now

[Sam] Listen to how posh his voice is. Fuckin' hate him. I hate him.
[Tom] Y'know, when I was at Oxford..
[Sam] Oh, no!
[Tom] Or was it Cambridge? I went to BOTH, you know.

- Sam and Tom | Watch now

You have so much chest hair!

- Sam | Watch now

We're on the lookout... for three things, yes? We are on the lookout for crime, people enjoying their lives, and anyone who's different from white men 'cause we don't like that. We don't like that in the London police force. You understand? Ahaha. People don't know whether to cheer my intent, or boo at my words.

- Tom | Watch now

Wait a minute! [Different accent] Have you been doing this longer than I have? Where has my accent gone?

- Sam | Watch now

[AJ] If we bring this posh person down, we... will be uh- uh- what's that word?
[Sam] Promoted?
[AJ] Promoted.

- AJ and Sam | Watch now

[Sam] Can I help you?
[Luke] Yeah, I'm here to- I'm here to... arrest the lot of you!
[Sam] When did the police start carrying guns in Manchester?
[Luke] This is Special Operations.
[Sam] I see.
[Luke] Yeah, that's right!
[Sam] Do you have a warrant? You look a little green around the gills.
[Luke] What?
[Sam] A little young. Like a little acorn that's just fallen off the oak tree.
[Luke] Yeah, I'm new on the force.
[Sam] Aah, have you ever fired that thing before?
[Luke] Uh, in training, yeah. Bang-bang-bang.
[Sam] Oh, you're so young you still say 'bang-bang-bang' when the gun fires?

- Sam and Luke | Watch now

[Tom] Who knows what could be happening. They could be pulling out his toes! They could-
[Sam] That happened once!
[Tom] Ah, you kind of got in the way of my flow there.

- Tom and Sam | Watch now

Well, that's all of the news that's happening right now. We're going to move on with events actually happening, and once they've happened, we can report on them. See you around kids! This has been BBC's Newsround.

- Tom | Watch now

I brought down the organised crime family of Manchester in 1993. The Kingpin. I single-handedly got knives off these streets through my sting operations. And I made sure we knew where those bees went. That was a sting sting operation.

- Sam | Watch now

[AJ] What is the true cost... of justice?
[Sam] Vengeance.
[Tom] The cost of justice is vengeance...?
[Sam] That's the motto of the Manchester Police Force.
[AJ] Well... If the cost of justice is vengeance... and the cost of vengeance... is justice.
[Luke] You know the second half of the phrase!

- AJ, Sam and Tom | Watch now

[Tom] Two weeks. A FORTNIGHT we used to call it in my day at Oxbridge.
[Luke] I never went to Oxbridge, I don't know what you’re talking about.
[Tom] I can tell. Your accent is decidedly regional.

- Tom and Luke | Watch now

That wasn't meant to be sexy it just- This part... It was in your eye. I could see it hurt a bit so I was just… um... this isn't going that way…

- Tom | Watch now

[Paper rustling and typing noises]
Did you open paper and then type?
This is a piece of paper, and I put it here.

- Sam and AJ | Watch now

[AJ] I went into the nights, into the streets, looking about, asking people left right and centre. I followed my nose.
[Sam] Okay. So instead of just waiting in a van and hoping the criminal comes and says something really close to you that's wrong, you actually did some detective work!

- AJ and Sam | Watch now

[AJ] He's here. In the heart of Manchester. Right next to St Mary's Hospital.
[Sam] Where you were born.
[AJ] I was actually born at St Mary's. No, no, no joke.
[Sam] I know. It's 'cause we're friends, I know that stuff. But then you moved to France for a bit, lost your accent.
[AJ] Let's not get into all that.

- AJ and Sam | Watch now

Oh dear, oh dear. Seems that the penny’s whistled another tuppence.

- Tom | Watch now

We've got no intelligence. I mean we're smart but we got no like... material knowledge of the situation.

- Luke | Watch now

You don't have to give me an emotional appeal, I already gave you permission. Keep it locked in like a man, alright?

- Luke | Watch now

[Luke] Take the biggest gun we’ve got. The Lady. That's what we call her. Gotta treat her right.
[AJ] We haven't used this since you used this on the Kingpin.
[Luke] That's right. Back in '75.
[AJ] Back in '75. A harpoon gun.
[Luke] Straight through his chest. Pinned him to the wall and then I abseiled down. I threw the gun first, obviously. Otherwise I'd just sorta be landing on the floor on front of him. That'd be ridiculous.

- Luke and AJ | Watch now

No dialogue in this bit.

- AJ | Watch now

Look at him, he’s wearing red trousers like a Tory cunt!

- Luke | Watch now

Just use this.
Thank you.
Before this hits me, who was that?
It's a side character I've been-
No I kinda need-
Who was it?
What-
I’ve been developing it with the audience
What did he give you?
...the whole time.
What did you-
Don’t worry about that.
Yeah, okay...
Aagh!
Oh!

- AJ, Tom and Sam | Watch now

[Sam] What did you throw?
[AJ] Uh- A knife!
[Sam] Ah! They never think of that.

- Sam and AJ | Watch now

One day you're gonna make a mighty fine police officer like your uncle. 'Cause you know why? You're never gonna do cocaine or wear red trousers.

- Sam | Watch now

I gotta take my red trousers off!

- Luke | Watch now

North Manchester, drug ring, breaking (Sam), Louis No Toes, Waitrose Bakery, Manchester manor, corpsing (Sam Luke AJ Tom), an entire bap, think of your roots, finger